"There will be No Miracle Today!"

In these troubling, modern-times, it's comforting to examine the words of wise Middle-Eastern chaps from two millennia past. 

The following is a short extract from, Gideons All-New Third Testament (Revised Edition, published by Dodo Press, AD. 47) 

It's a timely reminder that miracles do not occur every day, and one should live life accordingly. 

Not the actual Gate to Heaven, but the 'No Parking' sign is an authentic relic, salvaged during renovations to the Gate at the turn of the millennia.

Paul 16:24 The multitudes did come from far and wide, for they had heard a great miracle was to take place, "Beholden unto you", cried Luke, the wise Doorkeeper, "This man Daniel is fat and this door is narrow, who here amongst us believe this man can pass through to the other side?"

Paul 17: 12 Much laughter did ring out amongst the crowd (and the sheep) and many coins exchanged hands. But soon the problem was there for all to witness. "Hear ye", hollered the Doorkeeper to Heaven, "Is there a Carpenter in the house? I tell you all this portly bigot is wedged tight in the frame."

 Paul 18:23 Up stepped the Messiah, "I am a Carpenter, I shall release him, but only when the multitudes and I doth stop laughing." But alas it was to no avail, the laughter would not subside. And so before the great multitudes so did declare the Messiah, "There will be no miracle today! For this man, Daniel started in Life with a narrow waist and an expansive mind, and has ended his days with a narrow mind and an expansive waist."

 Paul 18: 45 "What a prat", exclaimed the Messiah, verily.