In a shocking twist that no one saw coming, Elon Musk has officially been crowned the First Lady of the United States. That's right—move over, Melania Trump, there's a new First Lady in town, and she drives a Tesla.
Now, we know what you're thinking: "Isn’t Elon a man?" Well, that’s so 2024. In a bold move toward gender neutrality and really throwing a wrench into the 2020s’ narrative, the title of First Lady has just become… up for grabs. And who better to fill those ridiculously high heels than the CEO of SpaceX, the man who’s literally sending cars to Mars?
Melania Trump, meanwhile, seems to have been quietly demoted from First Lady to, well, a lady. Yes, her time in the spotlight has been overshadowed by Elon’s relentless quest for world domination through electric cars and flamethrowers. Melania is now the former First Lady, relegated to being the First Lady of Not Being Elon Musk—which, let's be real, is a pretty tough title to hold.
So, what does Elon bring to the table as First Lady?
For starters, a Twitter feed that no one can look away from. No more “I don’t really care, do you?” jackets. Instead, we can look forward to Twitter threads about the perfect floral arrangements for the White House lawn, probably written in code. And forget about traditional First Lady speeches—Elon’s got plans for interactive holograms, maybe even a cameo from a robot or two, and if we’re lucky, a new line of avant-garde “First Lady” fashion: SpaceX chic.
Forget the White House rose garden; we’ll be getting the Elon Musk Memorial Electric Lawn—solar-powered, of course.
But what does Melania think of all this? Sources close to the former First Lady say she’s “focusing on her own ventures” and “not at all worried about Elon Musk’s social media antics.” We suspect she’s already moved on to her next big project: Being the Most Unbothered Woman in the World.
As for Elon, his next step might be running for First Gentleman—because, in 2025, who’s keeping track of labels anymore?
Stay tuned for what’s next in the political revolution: the First Lady who might just launch the next Mars mission from the Rose Garden.
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